I have found there are two types of routines: those I force into my life and those that flow into my life. The routines I force are usually those that come from disjointed, objective planning. I’ll take an end goal, create a plan that should, theoretically, produce the fastest results (it usually doesn’t), and ignore my personal habits and preferences (never a good idea). Routines that flow, on the other hand, are those that develop almost effortlessly, following the natural rhythm of life.
Take the kitchen, for example, which I really prefer to have clean when I wake up in the morning. Unfortunately, it takes effort the night before to get to that beautiful state, which is usually an unpleasant task. However, by starting small, staying consistent, and adding slowly, I turned a frantic, frustrating chore into a pleasant routine that follows my natural rhythm.
Finding Natural Rhythm in My Kitchen Closing Routine
THE FRANTIC BEGINNINGS
After an evening meal, I enjoy spending time with my husband and doing various slow, relaxing activities before it comes time to sleep. It is unfortunate that in those beautiful hours of relaxation, the kitchen is left behind in the same state it was when dinner was finished: a mess.
This state of chaotic disorder becomes a frustrating reality when I’m getting ready for bed. You see, I am one who cannot leave messes lying around, especially when the beautiful reward is too good to ignore.
It is then, right before bed when I should be winding down to sleep, that I decide I really can’t leave the kitchen the mess it’s in. So, I force myself to trudge around with the least amount of energy I’ve had all day to clean up the dishes and leftovers. As you can imagine, this habit of mine has slowly built a grudge against the activity.
This is what I would consider my forced routine. There is no consistency, no pattern, no fluidity, yet I make myself complete the work as a daily habit. Cleaning the kitchen after each meal is a wonderful habit to develop, but my efforts usually result in bitterness towards both the activity and myself.
As I mentioned, I quite enjoy the result of a clean kitchen when I wake up in the morning. I find there to be almost no better way to start my day than in this pleasing environment. It is my reward and incentive for going through the grueling task of cleaning the kitchen the night before, but my method was not sustainable.
WHEN NATURAL RHYTHM EMERGED
At some point, I made the decision that this method of accomplishment is something I downright detest and need to improve. I didn’t want the goal of a clean kitchen to disappear, only the sequence of events that brought me to it.
It is in this frustrated, upset, but determined state that I made the simple goal of cleaning up the kitchen as soon as we finish eating. I even told my husband my new goal so he could hold me accountable to it. Then came the grueling process of sticking with it.
In the first few weeks, I occasionally forget or get distracted, which effectively delayed my cleaning. As the gentle reminder came from my husband, I would resign myself to the completion of the task. Gradually, it became my new habit, and it naturally grew to a routine that included putting the leftovers away, cleaning the dishes, starting the dishwasher, wiping down the counters, and sweeping the floor.
If that list of chores sounds overwhelming, I can tell you it didn’t start that way. It took time and effort to build the habit of cleaning the kitchen in a timely manner before I could consider attaching additional habits to the process. Now it is the most natural flow of activities that creates my kitchen closing routine.
It can be frustrating to build a new habit, much less one that you actually appreciate and enjoy doing. Although it takes time to get there, it is possible to design a routine that flows with the natural rhythm of your life.
Start Small
As with any new undertaking, overwhelming yourself will almost certainly result in discontinuation of the effort. Beginning small and allowing yourself time to build new rhythm will ensure the building blocks of a long-lasting habit are set firmly in place.
When identifying a habit to create natural flow in, consider those that offer a rewarding result but are accompanied with a frustrating process. Walk yourself through the steps of the routine, identify points of frustration, what causes the frustration, and events that take place both before and after the routine.
In my story, cleaning the kitchen brought a rewarding result that I love, but I was frustrated with the process of obtaining that result. I knew my main frustration was the time at which I habitually did the chore—right before bed. The cause of my frustration was how tired I am at that time of day. I would rather be in bed, getting ready to sleep, than clean the kitchen.
Once you have identified those aspects of your forced routine, you can begin to analyze what you want to change and how you will change it. Keep in mind events that you can tie your new habit to and keep your end goal small to make it consistently obtainable.
My biggest desire in cleaning the kitchen was that it would take place earlier in the evening. I knew eating dinner always takes place immediately after I finish cooking the meal. It is a cyclic routine that will never change. Dinner also takes place before any other evening activities. These realities make it the perfect anchor to signal it’s time to clean the kitchen. When dinner is finished, I clean the kitchen.
My end goal in cleaning the kitchen was simply to have all food put away and dishes in the sink, ready for my husband to wash. After particularly messy preparations, I might do a quick wipe-down of the counters. These were small, obtainable goals that didn’t ask too much of myself right away.
To begin the effort of introducing natural rhythm into a routine or habit, consider the particulars of the situation and start with small, easily obtainable changes.
Stay Consistent
Once you have adjusted your new routine with your natural rhythm in mind, it’s time to remain consistent and keep your efforts strong. The only way to build new habits is to push through the difficult process of maintaining them until they become second nature.
Most often, it is wise to build accountability into new routines and habits. This can take the form of telling a close friend or family member about your goal and asking them to give you reminders. Or perhaps an alarm set to go off at the same time every day is sufficient. Whatever method you choose, ensure you are not able to ignore or pass off the reminder.
In my personal effort to make closing the kitchen immediately after dinner habitual, I asked my husband to hold me accountable to my goal. Whenever I forget or delay the routine, he reminds me. I hold myself accountable by pausing my current activity and completing the kitchen cleaning.
It’s important to note that consistency and accountability will only work if you have a true and deep desire to make the changes. If you are not truly interested in changing your habits, no amount of reminders will bring about the change for you.
Add Slowly
When your new habit is firmly established, you can add additional activities to eventually create a routine that naturally flows. You will know it’s time to consider expanding your routine when it becomes habitual without hesitation. Your comfort level, ability to consistently complete the activity without reminder, and your natural rhythm through the activity will be your guide.
Just like the initial creation of a habit or routine, adding additional aspects should be done with small, slow efforts.
My initial changes to cleaning the kitchen were to move the routine to earlier in the evening, put away food, place the dishes in the sink, and occasionally wipe down dirty counters. The first activity I added to my routine was cleaning the dishes myself. Then, I began starting the dishwasher. Eventually, wiping down and sanitizing the counters became a nightly habit, and a quick sweep of the floor was a final addition.
The entire process is only an extra 5-15 minutes immediately after dinner that not only provides the satisfaction of a clean kitchen every morning but also one I now get to enjoy during the peaceful relaxation of my evenings.
When considering how you want to expand your new routine, remember to add slowly with small tasks. Once each new task becomes part of the natural rhythm, you’re ready to add another. Working slow and steady will ensure a successful habit or routine is built!
Benefits of Finding Natural Rhythm & Final Thoughts
It has been several months since I first adjusted my kitchen closing routine, and I couldn’t be happier with the changes. My frustration around cleaning up has almost entirely dissipated, and I revel in the opportunity to enjoy the pleasing results longer than just each morning.
Through my experience with this process, I have found not only do I flow through my routine in a very natural way, I enjoy doing it! My initial frustration with the routine didn’t stem from the activity itself, but the timing of it. The simple shift of moving the process forward made it a grounding part of my evenings.
The shift provided structure to my evenings that is peaceful and satisfying because of how it flows with my natural rhythm. I prefer to work before I play (or relax), and this small adjustment now falls in line with that preference. Additionally, by grounding the kitchen closing to a specific time each evening, I can now use it to signal the start of another evening habit.
Truthfully, this was my first introduction to finding rhythm in everyday life. Upon reflection, I’ve found routines that flow naturally are made naturally. Starting small, staying consistent, and slowly adding additional tasks will eventually turn your rigid routine into a natural rhythm of movement.
